Friday, August 10, 2012

Kids Say the Darndest!

This is an ongoing post of quotes from the most honest, uncensored, unapologetic individuals I've ever met.......My students. Enjoy!  Oh, and try your best not to fall out of your chair. (Student names have been changed to protect their identity.)

So today our school had a visit from some representatives from Walmart. They came to read to the students and do activities. The representative that came to my class was (how do I say this???) not the best reader. In the midst of reading, he stopped and asked one of the students, "how tall you is?" the following comments came in rapid succession:
MT: no, you're supposed to say... "How tall ARE YOU!??"
MJ: are you in school?
Chad: NO, he works at WALMART, duh!
MJ: You should go to college!
Me: speechless, dumbfounded, and BEAMING with pride!

"The man that killed Martin Luther King can kiss my ass" - one of my 2nd grade students last year

Today I scolded a student for running down the stairs.
MJ: But, Ms. Wilson, Chad was runnin too!
Me: If Chad jumped off a bridge, would you do it?
MJ: Yeah, to save him!

Me : Oh look, we match today!
Kayla: Yeah, we both have on khakis and a yellow shirt. But its not exactly the same.
Me: What's the difference?
Kayla: Well, in your shirt you have boobs. I don't have those. Not yet

I gave my kids a survey to get to know them better. This is from  Mikey's paper:
What is something that makes you sad?: Getting woopens
What is something that makes you happy?: NOT getting woopens

Sam: I think that one thing we can do to help our planet is recycle. I love to recycle. I think it is good for the earth.
Chad: Is that why you wear the same shirt every day?

Mikey: Ms. Wilson, do you have kids?
Me: No
Mikey: (frowns) well, do you have a husband?
Me: No
Mikey: (eyes widen) What are you waiting for? Time's a tickin'!

Chad to another student: Oh my gosh you can't spell! Your paper look like a chik-fil-a billboard!

Today when I was sitting in a public library, a mother scolded one of her children. Her older son (maybe about 7 years old) says: "Momma, you can't do that in here. It's a library! Plus, you can't be embarassin us in front of white people!"

Today at recess, a group of girls made up a dance to the song "Do It" and decided to perform it for everyone. Jordan: "HOLD UP! Ya'll can't...ya'll cant.....sing THAT song... ya'll NEED to sang something from CHURCH! Sang bout JeeZUS!!"
5 minutes the girls are performing to "Bands'll make her dance," he says "mmm.. hmmm...DROP IT LIKE ITS HOT!"

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